Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Give me a Break. Please.

I'm missing something here, right?  I mean, all hygge aside, this is one crappy Winter here in the bowels of the great Northeast. I'm not enjoying one single moment, not delighting one bitty bit in the fact that it is snowing again today and has been since early this morning. I checked the Weather Channel and there I found some uplifting information, it will not stop until six o'clock this evening. And, oh, yes, it also snowed a good part of the day yesterday. Which,of course, would not have been half as bad had it not snowed Saturday night into all day Sunday on top of the "blizzard" just a few days before. So, I figure that I am not the only one who is feeling like jumping out the freaking window, head first into a snow bank. But nooooooo. I'm wrong.  I have nobody with whom to commiserate.  I keep in touch with friends who are living under the same sky, getting equally wet and cold from the same snow storm, figuring that there is something still left to be said for "misery loves company" and perhaps we could at least on line, share our misery but all I get is how everyone is knitting and purling and reading and loving the opportunity to sit in their houses while their fuel bills and electric bills climb higher and higher by the minute.  So, what's the deal with me?  Where am I going wrong?  I'm so lost in the white out I cannot see the forest or the trees.

Okay, Day One of the blizzard was fun.  We were so damned sure that we were going to lose power, and we were ready to take it head on.  I woke up early, hit the stores, loaded up on firewood, candles, batteries, food, water, wine and even spent the twenty eight bucks to retrieve my Icelandic wool blankets from the dry cleaners.  We cleaned up the Coleman stove, got two extra propane fuel tanks for the baby, and placed it on the front porch where we, much to the anticipated horror of our neighbors, would cook once the power left us.  I got ingredients, recipes, more ingredients and more recipes.  I chopped, I peeled, I boiled and put things up in containers which, of course, would fit nicely into the Styrofoam cooler that also sat on our front porch, waiting for the power to leave us.  We located flashlights, stacked scarves, gloves, hats, boots and hand warmer packets near the front door.  I threw throws over the chairs, making them easy to locate in the dark of course.  I even waited until early evening to take a shower so that I would be clean an extra day as were my dishes, all washed in the dishwasher.  No caked-on-smelly food hanging around the dishpan for dark and cold days on end.  What a check list!  No loss of power.  Just a lot of extra stuff hanging around our small place.  Most of it stayed hanging around each time we announced "here it comes again....".

I tried lavender, I made and then started daily scrubbing with, lavender scented sugar scrub.  I lit candles, probably should have lit them in a church instead.  I boiled, baked, and grew sprouts.  And more frigging snow fell.  I tried to read.  I tried to paint. I tried to finish a project or two. I tried to be happy. I tried to embrace, to savor, to love the beauty of it all. I really, really tried but nothing is or has worked. And then, all I hear is how much they're loving it (if the shoe fits....) and how great it is to stay home (it's not exactly like anyone isn't retired and staying home all the time anyway) and how much they love this shit. And, I wondering, where have I gone wrong?

Maybe I've got lavender-poisoning.  Or maybe I'm just tired of too much of your good thing.  Or maybe, maybe, I'm just a grouch who needs to see the sun.....soon. But alas, I will not get my wish, more snow is due Thursday.  Shoot me.

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