Monday, March 6, 2017

Starting Week Two

I came home from the hospital, feeling as if perhaps, a mistake had been made, that I did not actually have surgery.  I felt fine, ate and drank fine, albeit small quantities and very, very few calories.  I warded off the dreaded dehydration and even managed to get some liquid protein resources down.  I wondered about this "restriction" stuff that everyone talks about. My only complaints were the constant gnaw, gnaw, gnawing that resembles hunger pangs, every minute of the day.  That, and the fact that the scale defies me and will not budge one ounce from the day before the procedure.  Just maybe....maybe, there's something that they didn't want to tell me quite yet?

I'm married to my Joe for 47 years so far.  One of the reasons we have a successful marriage is that we have succeeded in developing and keeping fine-tuned senses of humor.  We've gotten through many a tough time due to that virtue.  Over the past few days, I still chuckle to myself about a conversation we had in the pre-op area when I really wanted to sign off with some heroic sounding words and here's what it morphed into:

Me:  "You know Joe, there are no guarantees"

He:  "I thought you said it was very safe!  You know Hon, it is not too late to back out"

Me:  "No, I'm not backing out but......there are no guarantees that, having gone through all of this so far and all that's ahead, that it will be successful.  You know, there are no guarantees that I will lose weight"

He:  "That's okay, at least you tried"

Me:  "Also, some times when the surgeon gets into the abdominal cavity, he has to stop, doing nothing more, because he finds something that had not yet been discovered, making the patient a non-candidate for the surgery"

We ask the nurse if this has ever happened before and she immediately answers, "Yes....just a few weeks ago......" Gulp.

Me:  "Well, too late now Joe.  All I can say is that I damned well better not wake up with a copy of
"WEIGHT WATCHERS, WEEK ONE" clutched in my hand."

We practically needed to be wheeled out together on the gurney at that point.  It wasn't too long after that the anesthesiologist showed up.  He was so darned young and cute and he was blushing.  He probably thought that he had brought some itchy-kitchy feelings to the old bag awaiting her turn in the O.R.  I had all to do to keep myself from rolling off.

Well, as you already know, I the WW manual was not issued.  I was a perfect candidate and I hope that the procedure was done in accordance with the Sleeve Gastrectomy Manual instead.

My tummy continues to rumble, I'm starting to understand the "restriction" feeling as I do get it now, after a mere 2 sips. Howevefr, I still feel hungry and envy the sleevers before me who will tell you that from Surgery Day One, they never again felt hungry.  I've been checking in on forums to see if I am the only one who was hungry at this point and if I'm the only non-loser and it has been comforting and helpful to discover that I am not.  Seems my problem might be due to excess stomach acid and will go away soon and the weight loss, well it's not as fast as one might imagine under the best of circumstances.  Too much, too fast?  How can that be healthy.  Let's get back to that good ole baby. What if I told you that my baby gained 20 pounds in 2 weeks?  You'd probably send both of us to the hospital on a jet plane.

Where is that Smart Baby any way?  We have a lot to talk about.  Remember, I'm looking for a two week old who not only can talk but can use logic, good sense and have an eye for fashion.  Hmmm, I might have to do a lot more figuring out on my own.  This week, I resolve to totally slow it down, act like a certified two-week old baby, and see what happens.  Bwahhhhhh!!!!!!

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