Saturday, January 3, 2015


I have absolutely no intention of making any "New Year Resolutions".  None.  Been there, done it.  Never once have I stuck to one and there's one thing I know for certain about myself, I'm not good at change. So, I did not make any "resolutions" for 2015. But, I have decided to do something that I have not yet tried. The list of those items is endless. I still haven't tried a lot of things and wonder every day if and when I will.  For instance, I've never tried reckless driving and it looks so easy.  I see people doing it all the time.  I've never tried rudeness or total disregard to the rights of others.  Bigotry, nope.  Stupidity, not intentionally. Racism and homophobia.  Am I too old to start?  For that matter, I've never tried this new "living in the moment" arrangement with myself or meditation.  Er, I'll take that back, I have tried meditation but never got the hang of it and I keep wondering how people do that stuff and keep doing it because they actually get something out of it.  Okay, I am a quitter.  I give up very easily and am no stranger to the art of defeat.  I have stamina for some things but total lack for others.  I don't appear to be physically fit but a day in New York City with my daughter and granddaughters would belie that idea.  Those kids had nothing on me and I wasn't even sore the next day.  But this year, this year is different and there will be one less thing on that list of things that I have not yet tried.

This year, I'm going to focus.  I've suggested to my husband that we plan the year ahead, working as a team, and incorporate that word into as much of our lives as we possibly can. It can be our "platform", I explained, our operating system for everything in our lives from what we will eat to where we will go to what we will experience, and how.  Focused.  Thoughtful.  We're going to remember where we put our keys, our morning coffee cups, our eyeglasses.  We're going to deal with one elder care crisis at a time, giving each our total attention, sticking to the problem at hand and then, moving on.  We're going to eliminate as much clutter in our lives as we can bear and only make purchases that have purpose and room in our little home.  We're going to stop futzing around about how to spend the seasons; we're only going to focus on the time that we have and try to enjoy each season and the gifts that come along.  No "dieting" but rather, experimentation with better ways of doing something as simple as selecting foods, making meals, eating with intention rather than wild abandon.  I am going to write more, care more, and create more. Focus. More.

I've enrolled in an on-line course that will begin soon.  It's designed for those of us who will be hibernating. For four weeks, our virtual instructor will help banish the blues associated with the short and bone-chilling days of the Winter Solstice.  The promise is that we will be more productive in our creative lives, happier perhaps, lighter in spirit and more likely to enjoy the gifts of the season.  As I look out the window at this moment, I realize that the sky is white, not a hint of blue, allowing the pine trees to dominate.  I see squirrels running up and down the branches of barren oak trees, scurrying to the nests that I watched them build in the past few weeks. The contrast is brilliant, allowing only the birds and squirrels as the main attraction against the pale cold backdrop of the winter sky.  There is a shimmer of ice on the pond and I wonder where the ducks are sheltering.  And, I realize that I am staying honest, that I am keeping a promise to myself, honoring a commitment very easily as I focus on how easily the words come when I live in the moment.

Happy New Year.

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