Editors Needed

 I need your help.

I've started to write my memoir and I don't have an editor.  I do know that one of the worst mistakes one can make while writing is editing as one writes.  I also know the importance of openers, how I can either draw a reader further or lose out from the start. Sooooooo, I have started my opener, and it appears below, un-edited, a veritable feast for those who would like to have the opportunity to add their "two cents" without impunity.  I'm asking you to bring it on.  I'll try to keep this simple.  You may have already read my little blog piece, written in January, called "Nun on the Run".  I've selected that particular scene, the one in which I came across the young nun who appeared to have been working at the home for the aged and was taking an evening break from her duties.  My memoir piece will be about the time I spent in Assisi and the six months before, when I too, was caring for an elderly person.  In my case, it was my mother.  This first paragraph will set the tone, give the reader an idea that I understood how challenging the work of caring for the sick and aged can be and how much that break means to the caregiver.  It will be my jumping off point but I haven't a clue yet about what will follow.   I just need to get started and I have.

So, what can you do to help me?  Well, at the bottom of the post, there is a little business about making a comment. Hit the words "No Comments". I've been told by one reader that she has tried many times to do this but it does not work. I have had comments in the past so it must have been working at some point.  Give it a try or, email me at the address that you normally do.  I'm assuming that you have that address.  If you don't, it's probably because I don't know you and probably do not want to communicate with you. I hope this is clear.

Comment, suggest, criticize, do whatever you want.  I'm a big girl, I can take it. Maybe some day, I will actually publish and if I do, your name will appear in the "Grateful Acknowledgements" section, way up front.
As for a title, don't even bother. I have one that I will not divulge nor will I entertain any other ideas at the moment.  I am very comfortable with it and it is the framework for everything else.

Here's the first paragraph of the first draft of the first attempt of the first page of the first rejection...

And, I thank you.

P.S.  You don't have to leave your name if you post here at the end of the blog...
 
It was just before sunset. The door to Casa Reposo, the town's home for the aged,  flew open. With a movement much like that of an angel gliding through a cloud, she exited onto Via Metastasio. I watched her as she took in her first quick breath and then exhaled, long and slow. I felt as if I were back in the delivery room witnessing a birth.  I could almost see her lungs expanding as she stopped for a moment before turning to the left and making her way up the street towards the Piazza Alugi.  Her short black veil flying in the cool November breeze seemed to point the way; she quickened her pace in response to what I imagined was an inner voice.  My eyes followed as she approached her final destination, a carved out area of pavement which held a spectacular view.  I also stopped to take in the view of the Umbrian valley below.  I smiled. She smiled back and we both returned our gaze to the restful scene before us.