Yesterday, an interesting piece arrived in my inbox, incorporated into a daily drop called "Nice News". The email author cited an essay written by author Amy Wheatherly that has now, via Facebook, gone viral. In it, the mom-blogger humorously speaks to the thirty and forty-somethings about friendships and how they "change"over the years. For those of us who have been lucky enough, we certainly can relate.
My immediate response was to forward a copy of the email to my friend Janet. She and I have shared a close friendship that has spanned almost seventy years. Along with Kel and Lori, we have been through every phase of our lives together, starting from grammar school in a New York suburb. So, of course, I had to run this by Janet and of course, I got a response that was priceless. We agreed that the dialogue has changed, that we have our own version of what we say to each other "nowadays" versus what we exchanged "then". And, our communication system, maybe thanks in part to the wisdom of our children and grandchildren, has evolved into text messaging, replacing the old Princess phone on the Formica kitchen counter. I laugh when I think of how we whiled away the hours, and yet, we still managed to get a lot done as teenagers and then, as busy mothers. So much of our chit chat revolved around the need for more sleep, more money, more free time and more hours in the day.
In the Amy Wheatherby essay, she features bytes of young women in exchanges that now typify their lives and how they differ from the chats of women a decade younger. How we navigate through friendships, changing over time. It's a fun little read but it does stop at age forty......Fortunately, friendships, at least some of mine, have not stopped at age forty. Nor, fifty. Nor sixty. Not even seventy. So, there's a whole new list of what we can and do say to each other, of words that have replaced those of young, energetic and yet-to-be real life- challenged women. Borrowing Amy Wheatherly's style if I may, here's what our friendships look more like now..........
Now it looks like waiting for messages letting us know that the tests are done and all is well for another year
Now it looks like "what do you do for the sore, creaky hands you wake up with?"
Now it looks like "is anyone still eating peppers?"
Now it looks like making plans to meet and plans ending like this: "I may have to cancel because I have a stomach bug" met with "I was going to call you and cancel because I have a tooth infection" coupled with "And Kel can't make it because she's exhausted from coughing"
Now it looks like "Was that really fifty years ago?"
Now it looks like "oh boy, if I day drink, I'll be out for hours"
Now it looks like "that waiter is very nice looking for a man of his age."
Now it looks like the day out being half a day
Now it looks like "I never hear from my children, forget about the grandchildren"
Now it looks like "days go by without......"
Now it looks like Words With Friends, Wordle and the Obits
Now it looks like "could-nots and should-nots and will-nots"
Now it looks like "see-you-next-time...God-willing"
Now it looks like "only if you have decaf "
Now it looks like "I don't drive at night"
Now it looks like "I've been taking it for twenty years and it hasn't caused dementia...yet"
Now it looks like "this may be the last time"
Now it looks like lipstick has been replaced by chapstick and concealer has become an out-of-pocket-expense
Now it looks like "did you ask for the Senior Discount"
Now it looks like travel insurance and aisle seats close to bathrooms just in case
Now it looks like "I had you on my mind all day today and forgot to text you"
Now it looks like "Seventy five? Noooooooooooo!!! It can't be"
Now it looks like "If not now, then when?"