I found it so easy to write every morning while in Assisi. There were so many new ideas, so many thoughts and discoveries to document. But since my return, I find myself coming up dry, feeling blocked and un-interesting. There aren't as many stories here at home, or so I might excuse myself with that belief. Today is the first day of an entirely new year. Problem is, last year was an incredible one. Problem is, this year can be too but at this moment, I am faced with an abundance of choices and as usual, on New Year's Day, I feel pressured into thinking that I have to make instant decisions regarding those choices and how I want to reshape my entire life and become a new person for the next twelve months. Oh, that I would or could.
While it is challenging, I have to stop and think about the last year in a capsule, one that I started to fill this time, exactly, one year ago. I'm sure that I sat myself down on January first and enjoyed the quiet of the morning, just after sunrise, sitting next to a still alive Christmas tree, almost in the dark but for the lights on the tree and the glow of a candle. Coffee and books piled next to my chair, I probably thought about the year before and swore to myself that things would be different in the coming year. I'm sure that I did that. A year younger. A little less wise. Was I happier? Was I more or less confident? Was I ready for the uncertainties of the future? Did I care more, or less, about that future? I honestly don't recall what I was thinking, feeling or planning on that day and am relatively certain that one year from now, I will not have a clue about what I was dreaming of on this day.
So, no instant decisions.
One small one, however. I'm going to focus on two words this new year. Those two words have been staring me in the face for years in fact. In our den hang two framed prints. Each says one word.
One says 'Abundance" and the other, "Gratitude". Simple. How easy is that? They are there as constant reminders, coaches. Hanging right there on the wall, in their own quiet way, are the two most important words for my future.
My life, with all its twists and turns, goods and bads, weaks and strongs, is one of abundance. I have very few gaps. I have choices, so many. Too many.
And for this, and so much more, I am filled with gratitude.
"Abundance" and "Gratitude". They're next-door neighbors on the wall. They're blood relatives in life. Each fulfills the other, like the partners in a good marriage. Like the one we celebrated for the forty ninth time only a few days ago. Now, there's a starter if ever there was one.
While it is challenging, I have to stop and think about the last year in a capsule, one that I started to fill this time, exactly, one year ago. I'm sure that I sat myself down on January first and enjoyed the quiet of the morning, just after sunrise, sitting next to a still alive Christmas tree, almost in the dark but for the lights on the tree and the glow of a candle. Coffee and books piled next to my chair, I probably thought about the year before and swore to myself that things would be different in the coming year. I'm sure that I did that. A year younger. A little less wise. Was I happier? Was I more or less confident? Was I ready for the uncertainties of the future? Did I care more, or less, about that future? I honestly don't recall what I was thinking, feeling or planning on that day and am relatively certain that one year from now, I will not have a clue about what I was dreaming of on this day.
So, no instant decisions.
One small one, however. I'm going to focus on two words this new year. Those two words have been staring me in the face for years in fact. In our den hang two framed prints. Each says one word.
One says 'Abundance" and the other, "Gratitude". Simple. How easy is that? They are there as constant reminders, coaches. Hanging right there on the wall, in their own quiet way, are the two most important words for my future.
My life, with all its twists and turns, goods and bads, weaks and strongs, is one of abundance. I have very few gaps. I have choices, so many. Too many.
And for this, and so much more, I am filled with gratitude.
"Abundance" and "Gratitude". They're next-door neighbors on the wall. They're blood relatives in life. Each fulfills the other, like the partners in a good marriage. Like the one we celebrated for the forty ninth time only a few days ago. Now, there's a starter if ever there was one.
